The Hobbit: An Unexpected Curse
by Writterartistmangaka
Summary: I'm filling my own prompt for the Hobbit. Bilbo fell into the cursed springs and turns into a woman when he's wet by cold water and changes back when the water is hot. He never left the Shire because of that until a meddlesome wizard thought it would be a good idea to have him join an adventure.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm filling my own prompt for the Hobbit. This is a crossover with the Hobbit and Ranma 1/2: Bilbo fell into the cursed springs and turns into a woman when he's wet by cold water and changes back when the water is hot. He never left the Shire because of that until a meddlesome wizard thought it would be a good idea to have him join an adventure.**

**I know I'm not done with my other story "An Unexpected Tangle", but I can't help but wanting to write something else. Besides, there are a lot of other members who do the same, so don't judge me. **

**Reviews might get me to work more so, don't be shy!**

**I don't own any of the characters, nor the idea of the cursed springs. **

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- Chapter One: The cursed springs -

Ever since the passing of his parents, Bilbo hadn't been the same. They had died a few years before his majority and the pain never truly eased. A few years after the death of his mother, Bilbo Baggins couldn't stand staying inside the empty smial any longer. Remembering the stories his mother had told him when he was young, he decided to go on a little adventure. Belladonna's favorite tale was the one of the cursed springs.

_There is a legend that long ago, a Took had married a fey. When time took it's toll on the hobbit, his wife, heartbroken, had fled to the springs at the very edge of Tookborough and drowned herself in the largest of them all. Her magic bonded with the land, and as the years passed, many creatures and people accidentally drowned in the other pools. According to the legend, if you were to fall into a spring, you would turn into whatever had drowned every time you were wet by cold water._

Bilbo was a Took, but mostly a Baggins and he did not believe such childish tales. It was simply another story to scare children away from water, especially considering that hobbits were very poor swimmers. But the Tooks had a sort of "Rite of passage" for when they turned 33. They had to go to the springs and cross them without falling in any of them. To honour both his father and mother, after Bilbo's coming of age party with the Baggins, he went with a few of his Took cousins to the cursed springs, confident nothing would happen. Of course, if nothing had happened then telling you this story would be pointless, don't you think?

Nobody really knows what exactly happened, Bilbo himself is still very unclear about the incident. But never mind how it happened, the facts are, the poor hobbit somehow lost his footing and fell into the springs. Thankfully, his cousins managed to grab him and drag him out before he could drown. Bilbo spluttered and coughed, trying to move the hair from his face. That was when he realised something was very wrong. His hair was much longer than it had been a few moments ago and his clothes, which had fit perfectly, were now tight around his chest and hips. Looking over himself, he realised he had became a "she", and promptly fainted.

When he woke up, he was at the Tooks great smial, with the elders looking at him in concern. Much to his displeasure and horror, he was still a she. Grandmother Took, the matriarch, explained to him he had fallen into the spring of the lass. As they then tried to figure out how to change him back to normal, the young Palagrim arrived with a cup of tea. But he tripped over and spilled the hot drink all over the cursed hobbit, who yelped in pain. He was about to shout at the clumsy boy when he realised he was a he again. That was when he understood that if cold water turned him into a lass, hot water would nullify the effects.

Now himself again, Bilbo returned to Bag Ends, firmly decided never to speak of the incident to anyone, and keep it a secret for as long as he lived. He mostly never had to worry about it too much, since he rarely spilled anything and never in public, and always avoided going out when it rained. It was still very hard for him to get used to the emptiness in Bag Ends but he had very good reasons to learn to live with it. One thing that helped him greatly was reading the many books his father had been very fond of. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End was a very respectable hobbit, even if most wondered why he spent so much time alone in his smial, and nothing unexpected ever happened.

That is, until one day.

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**Thanks for reading! Sorry for any spelling mistakes I might have over looked. **

**Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, so here's the second chapter. They may come once per week, depending hw much I work on them. The more you review this story, the more I'll try to finish it!**

**I don't own any of the characters nor stories.**

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- Chapter Two: Good morning -

Bilbo was sitting quietly in his garden, eyes closed as he puffed some Old Toby and enjoyed the warm day of summer. Suddenly, he felt a strong gust of smoke on his face and wondered if the wind had blown back his last puff. He coughed a bit and opened his eyes, and quickly took notice of the large grayish figure looming just beyond his gate.

-'Good morning.' He said.

-'What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say you feel good on this particular morning or are you implying it is a morning to be good on?'

-'... All of them at once I suppose.' He answered the odd serie of questions, as he took in the traveler.

He was a tall old man, with grayish robes and an odd looking hat. His grey beard covered half of an old wrinkly face with two dark eyes looking at him intensely. He was leaning on a tall staff, and the hobbit thinks he spotted a stone at it's top, but quickly returned his attention to the man, who simply stared silently. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, Bilbo then asked him:

-'Can I help you?'

-'That remains to be seen.' The old stranger said mysteriously. 'I am looking for someone to share in an adventure.'

Bilbo's mouth dropped open in confusion and shock. Was he offering..? No, no, no. That wouldn't work, that wouldn't work at all.

-'An adventure? No, I don't think anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures.' He said as he stood to go get his mail. 'Nasty, dirty, uncomfortable things. Make you late for diner.'

_And changes you into a woman if you're not careful_. He thought as he looked through his letters, trying to look busy. Since the old man did not move, the hobbit tried to end the conversation with a curt "Good morning" and tried to return inside.

-'To think I would've lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door.' He sais and Bilbo froze at the mention of his mother as turned to look at the man in shock.

-'Pardon me?'

-'You've changed. And not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins.'

-_How does he know my..?_ 'I'm sorry, do I know you?' The hobbit asked, very much tired of all this mystery.

-'Well you know my name although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means... me.' The gray man said as Bilbo slowly started to remember.

-'Gandalf... Not Gandalf the wandering wizard who had such beautiful fireworks? Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve!' He exclaimed, remembering the many nights he spent in his youth looking at the colourful explosions with awe. 'No idea you were still in business.'

-'And where else should I be?' The wizard asked with a frown and Bilbo chose not to answer that. 'Well, I am pleased you remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Well then, it's decided! It shall be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others.' He said as he began leaving

-_Others? What is he..?_ 'What? No! No, no, no, no, no!' The hobbit exclaimed, and the wizard stopped. 'We do not want any adventures here! Thank you! I suggest you try over the hill or across the water!' He said, making it very clear he wanted none of this adventure. 'Good morning!'

With that, he entered his smial and locked the door, sighing in relief. An adventure would surely only end in disaster and his curse would surely be out of control. None of that, thank you very much. He was about to leave when he heard some odd scrapping sound. Pressing his ear against the door, he tried to determine what in the world the wizard was doing, and then peeked out his window to see. When the old man's face appeared right in front of his, Bilbo ducked to the side, breathing loudly. He then went to another window, in his main room, and spotted the wizard walking down the path and away from his home. Confused, he decided to simply ignore it and forget this entire encounter.

When he ended up with a bunch of dwarves devouring everything in his pantry, sometime later, he deeply regretted it.

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**Please review and tell me what you think. I know it's not very different from the original, but it'll get there.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! New Chapter! Okay, so I modified it a bit from the original scene in the movie. I wanted to establish that Bilbo was really attached to his parents, mostly his mother and that they are still a big part of him.**

**Reviews help me work harder, so post any comment you might want to make.**

**I don't own any of the stories.**

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- Chapter Three: I'm sorry, I can't sign this -

Bilbo was about to have a fit. There were twelve, no, thirteen dwarves in his smial, and they wanted him as a burglar, to the grey wizard's suggestion. After promptly passing out at the thought of being burned to ash, he had woken up in his chair with a cup of tea. Gandalf was next to him, asking if he felt well.

-'I'm alright, just let me sit quietly for a moment.'

-'You've been sitting quietly for far too long.' The old man replied, Bilbo's mouth dropping open in offence. 'Tell me, when did you're mothers plates and pottery became so important to you?'

-'Ever since it became all I had left of her.' He snapped, and the wizard looked at him sadly.

-'Well, I remember a young hobbit who would stay out late, come home after dark trailing mud, twigs and fireflies. A hobbit who had his mother's spirit and heart, who would've given anything to know what layed beyond the borders of the Shire.'

-'That was before, Gandalf. Before everything changed. I can't accept this offer.'

-'Why ever not? If she were alive, Belladonna would surely encourage you to come.'

-'If she were alive, then I wouldn't..!' Bilbo shouted and stopped himself. 'If she were still here, a lot of things would be different.'

-'I am aware her passing was hard for you, even after all these years. But I still do not understand why you refuse to come.'

-'You mean other than the risk of dying a slow and painful death?'

-'Life is a fragile thing, Bilbo Baggins. Even here, in the Shire, death may strike at any moment. There is another reason. What is it?'

Bilbo sighed and looked back to see if any dwarf was perhaps listening to the conversation. Seeing them occupied, he then turned to Gandalf and whispered in a hushed tone:

-'Gandalf, have you ever heard of the cursed springs?'

-'Of course.'

-'Well, on my coming of age, I went with some of my Took relatives to them and...'

-'You fell in one. The old man quickly understood. Which?'

-'The spring of the lass.'

-'And that is why you do not wish to come?'

-'Yes! Here, I can control the curse, because I can decide whether I get wet or not, and I have a ready supply of hot water if needed be. Out there, I won't have any of these things.'

-'And what does it matter?' The old man asked, and the hobbit looked at him with annoyance.

-'I don't want anyone to know about it! Do you truly think those dwarves would still want me in their group if the knew my gender changed back and forth?'

-'They need a hobbit as their burglar, and women dwarves are just as fierce as the men. They would not mind.'

-'Well, I do! I can't just run off, into the blue! I am a Baggins of Bag End!'

-'You are also a Took.' Gandalf argued, as Bilbo rolled his eyes. 'Did you know that your great-great-uncle, Bullroader Took, was so large he could ride a real horse?'

-'Yes...'

-'Well he could. In the battle of the green fields, he charged the goblin ranks, and swung his club so hard it took the goblin's head clean off it's shoulders. The head flew up a hundred yard and fell down a rabbit hole. And so the battle was won, and the game of golf invented at the same time.'

-'I do believe you made that up.' Bilbo said.

-'Well, all good stories deserve to be embellished. You'll have a tale or two of your own to tell when you come back.'

-'... Can you promise me that I will come back?' He asked, nervously.

-'... No. And if you do, you will not be the same.'

-'That's what I thought. I'm sorry, I can't sign this.' He said, standing up. 'You've got the wrong hobbit.'

With that, Bilbo went to his room and shut himself in. Later, when a melody of deep voices rose inside his smial, he felt his heart being crushed by a painful grip as he thought about is mother and how much she would've loved to go on an adventure herself.

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**I know Gandalf wasn't very shocked by Bilbo's declaration, but he's like 25 000 000 years old, so there's little that can surprise him. Bilbo's certainly not the first hobbit to fall into the cursed spring. I know the female part of him is pretty down-played, but guy or girl, Bilbo is still Bilbo and his personnality won't change with his gender. He'll just hide himself more around the company.**

**Reviews make me write faster and more, so post anything you want. An idea for my story, your thoughts, something you might not like or you think I should correct, or even spelling mistakes. (English is my second language and I have problems with spelling.)**

**Enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4

**New chapter! So, here's what I think Bilbo was thinking when he ran out his door. Just a little warning, I might never finish this story. I'm not even going to describe the entire adventure, I'm just going to write snippets where Bilbo had to deal with his "Problem". **

**Reviews help me work more on my stories! Review please!**

**I don't own the Hobbit or Ranma.**

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- Chapter Four: I'm going on an adventure! -

Bilbo awoke when the sunlight hit his eye. He sighed softly and stretched, not wanting to get out of bed just yet. As he gradually left his sleepy state, he remembered the last night's event and he frowned when he noticed just how quiet his smial was. What were the dwarves doing? Were they even still here? He opened his eyes and got out of his bed, trying to smoothe out the wrinkles in his clothes. He quietly exited his room and peeked down the hallway. Spotting no one, he continued walking around, looking for traces of the dwarves. When he found nothing, he wondered if perhaps it had all been a crazy dream but his empty pantry confirmed the events if the previous nights.

-'Hello?..' He called out softly, but got no reply.

When he arrived in his main room, he was elated to see that the dwarves were all good and gone! Skipping a step, he chuckled in relief as he watched contently his lovely smial. A few moments passed, and that was when he realised things were a bit too quiet. After the loud evening he had had, being alone once again inside his big home was a shock. He clenched his fist as he was remembered of the first few months after his parents passing. The silence was oppressive and only highlighted the absence of company. "_Get a grip, Bilbo! It's not the first time you've felt lonely!_" He berated himself. A small treacherous part of him argued that it didn't make it any easier, though. He closed his eyes and willed himself to simply forget about everything and get on with his day.

As he was about to do just that, he noticed something resting on the small table he had near his sofa and his eyes widened when he saw the contract the dwarves had given his just last night. The first thing he intended to do was take it and throw it away, but for some reason, he felt sad at the idea. This was the only proof of the one interesting thing that had happened to him nearly two decades (Well, except his empty pantry, but that would be fixed by the end of the day.) and it would be a shame to just dispose of it. "_Maybe I could just stash it with my mother's things as a souvenir. Or perhaps put it in a nice frame. After all, how many hobbits can brag about having been invited to join a king on a noble quest?_" He pondered. The annoying part of his mind made itself known again by asking him what there was to brag about since he didn't even sign the damn thing. "_I could sign it and pretend I went on an adventure. If anyone asks, I'll make something up. I am an excellent story teller._" But that would be lying and his father taught him better than that. "_Well, it's not as if anyone came around often. No one will notice it and I could simply have fun imagining what this adventure would've been like, if I had joined._" But it would be rather sad to simply imagine everything when he had the opportunity to see for himself. He had the chance to finally make something out of his life, right there, at arms lenght. He was in his prime, and he had barely left his house in 20 years. Was he really going to let the rest of his life waste away? To spend the years he had left in a monotone, daily life with only his books, the grief of his parents' passing and regret over what could've been?

Bilbo's eyes went down the contract to see the two signatures, and the empty spot where his own writing should rest. "_This is ridiculous! I'm a proper hobbit. A Baggins of Bag End. I'll get on with my day and forget this entire disaster ever happened!_"

But as he told himself that, he sprinted back to his room, stuffed his leather bag with change of clothes, a small bedroll, maps, books, a few things to snack on during the trip and a few bathing products. He then changed into brown suspenders, green petticoat and and red coat. Shoving his bag onto his shoulder, he grabbed a quill, hurriedly signed the contract and ran out the door, grabbing his key on the way. He sprinted through the fields of the Shire, the half-rolled contract floating behind him as he jumped over fences and skipped around other hobbits, who looked at him as if he were crazy. And truthfully, he felt quite like it. But at the same time, he had never felt so good! His heart beated faster than ever as his legs carried him further and further. He had never felt so alive! As he ran down the road, he spotted his gardener, Hamfast Gamgee, who had also noticed him.

-'Mr. Bilbo? Where are you going?' The red-headed hobbit asked in shock.

-'Can't stop, I'm already late!' He replied as he threw the key of his smial to the bewildered farmer.

-'Late for what?'

-'I'm going on an adventure!' Bilbo shouted at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear, running faster as he continued down the road that led out of the Shire, not once looking back.

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**Hope you liked it**. **Review and tell me what you thought!**


	5. Chapter 5

**New chapter! we finally see Bilbo's curse actually playing a part in the story.**

**Review please! **

**I don't own either stories or characters.**

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-Chapter 5: What was I thinking?-

"_What in the name of Yavanna was I thinking?_" He wondered, and the annoying part of him, that was making itself known more and more frequently, reminded him he hadn't been thinking at all. Bilbo groaned and tried to ignore the buggering part of his thought, or at least hoped it would give him some ideas, for he really needed a good one.

The company was taking a bath.

Any normal hobbit would've been praising the Gods. Hobbits washed every day, or every two days at the maximum, if they felt lazy. Their group hadn't cleaned themselves since they left his home, which was easily five days! Much more than any respectable hobbit would even consider. But alas, Bilbo wasn't a normal hobbit, and while he desperately needed a washing, he knew very well what cold water would do to him and he doubted Thorin would allow him to boil himself a bath.

"_I could probably skip the wash._" He thought but one sniff at his armpit and a hand to his sticky hair made him shudder. "_Nope! I've got to get myself clean. Maybe I could ask Gandalf to bring me a bowl of warm water? I just need a splash to reverse the effects._" He pondered, but then remembered the wizard had no intention to be any way helpful. Knowing the cheeky old man, he may sent one of the dwarves and laugh while doing it. "_Maybe if I stay deep in the water, they won't notice and I can get dressed quickly enough for them not to notice anything._" He was near desperate now and came up with the stupidest ideas. He knew what he looked like in his woman form and there was no way the dwarves would miss two very obvious differences between his forms. As his mind was reeling for a solution, the company began setting the camp, some ways away from the small lake they intended to use as a tub.

-'Someone needs to stay at camp and watch our supplies while the others bathe.' Thorin spoke, his comment making lot's of unwilling dwarves groan.

Bilbo's mind began spinning at a hundred miles a second and just as the King was about to choose one of his companions, he walked forward:

-'I'll do it!' He quickly volunteered.

-'You?' Gloin asked, a little wary.

-'Certainly! You lot go and get cleaned, I'll stay here and go after.'

-'And what if the camp is attacked?' Dwalin said. 'You could never hold your own against anything that might come, not long enough for us to get here!'

-'That is why I shall be staying with Bilbo to help him watch the camp.' Gandalf said, and they were no further complaints from the company.

-'... Thank you for your aid, Gandalf.' The hobbit said, once the others were out of earshot. 'But I'm confused, you said you did not want me to keep it a secret from them.'

-'I do not think it wise, but since you seem so adamant about it, I shall help in any small way I can.'

"_Somehow I find it hard to believe since you've been dropping subtle hints at the company for the past 5 days!_" Oh and he had. Often asking Gloin about his wife, Fili and Kili about their mother Dis and their respective talent in warfare, speaking fondly of how Belladonna had herself been a very feisty young woman, and how much Bilbo would've looked like her had he been a lass. Now, to anyone else, it would've seemed like just a rather odd conversation topic, but Bilbo knew why the accursed wizard said such things and he often had to refrain throwing something, anything, at the old bugger's head.

-'So would it be too much to ask for you to bring me warm water once it's my turn to take a bath?' He asked.

-'Yes, it would.' The grey magician said, chuckling at the heated glare he received. 'Now, I'm certain that a smart little one like you can figure something out.'

Grumbling about "Bothersome wizards" and "Annoying adventures and curses", Bilbo began heating a bit of water over the fire the dwarves had lit before they left for their bath. He just had to take it with him into a bowl, wash before it cooled down and splash himself before getting dressed. Simple enough. Once the dwarves started coming back, the hobbit waited until they were all present before he grabbed his hot water and made his way to the springs.

He didn't make it far before he was intercepted by Thorin, whom glared down at the steaming water in his hand.

-'What's this?' He asked in a gruff voice.

-'J-Just a bit of hot water.' Bilbo replied.

-'We are on an important quest, halfling. We will not always have the time to indulge in comfort.'

-'I know, I just need a bit of warm water after a cold bath.'

-'Why?' Kili asked, and the hobbit tried to come up with something.

-'It's... A hobbit trick not to get sick! When we bathe in cold water, a splash of hot will keep up from catching a cold!' He lied quickly.

Before anyone in the company had the time to question him further, he stepped around Thorin with his bathing things and went straight to the lake. The plan worked fairly well. Bilbo quickly stepped into the water and tried not to pay too much attention to the deforming of his/her body, just focusing on scrubbing it clean as fast as s/he could. Apparently, the transformation did not get rid of the dirt and grime, just changed his/her anatomy. S/he got out of the lake and went to the bowl of water, dipping his/her finger to check the temperature. It wasn't boiling anymore, but still very hot and dumping it wouldn't be...

-'Mr. Boggins, are you there?'

Not thinking twice, Bilbo grabbed the bowl and splashed him/herself with the hot liquid, bitting his/her lips in pain as to not make a rather pitiful noise. His/her body tough, shifted instantly just in time for the two brothers not to notice, as they passed through the tree line. Bilbo hurriedly covered his modesty and turned around.

-'Hey! Can't a hobbit have some privacy?' He nearly squealed.

-'Sorry, but Bombur just finished preparing supper and Uncle said you won't get any if you don't hurry up.' Fili explained.

-'Fine! I'll be right there, just let me get dressed.' He huffed, his back still turned to the two.

As he heard their heavy steps leaving, he sighed in relief and began drying himself. As he was about to put on his suspenders, he heard Kili shout:

-'You've got a rather cute butt, !'

He groaned as the two finally left, laughing loudly, while he blushed heavily. As he got himself dressed, he wondered once more: "_What was I thinking?_"

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**Fair warning, this is where I stopped writting and I have absolutely no clue what to do next. if you have any idea you'd like me to do, just post it in the Review!**


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